This article is about how some not in-the-know take the Onion's news as the real thing, and it cites that excellent occurrence from a few years back when the Beijing Evening News cribbed an Onion story about Congress refusing to meet unless it got a new Capitol building with a retractable roof. The best part is that at first the BEN demanded proof that it wasn't true before retracting it.

Grabbag Thursday
In the past couple of weeks, I've gotten back in touch with two erstwhile friends, which is nice: Mike and Carrie. It's nice to see them each back in the old email Inbox. I expressed my fears to Carrie about moving to a cold city and she suggested that I get myself back to Beijing, hit the Russian market, and purchase a big, fat fur coat on the cheap. SWEET. I would be classing up Chicago!

I've been writing back and forth with Don this morning about newspaper horoscopes. He likes to pick and choose between the Washington Post and the Express to see which ones he likes better, but I don't like either because they're invariably bad. For example, the horoscope for Capricorn today in the Express is:

You will be thanked for doing something for another that came very naturally to you. How much you'd accomplish if you worked harder.

Hello! Mom, are you writing these things?

Bizarro World
At my work today, we're having an internal auction to raise money for the organization. People cleaned out their garages, houses, etc, and brought whatever was salvagable to be auctioned off. The auction is by video conference between DC and Chicago and it's a loooong affair. There is some neat stuff (a weekend at any Hilton in Chicago), some good stuff (Cubs tickets), some random stuff (a coat hanger holder?), and some odd (a Jesse Ventura governor action figure doll).

My boss's boss who is this very tasteful, stylish man, showed his team spirit by engaging in a heated bidding war over a Precious Moments figurine. He paid $70 for it. When they announced him the winner, he said "Now that truly is a precious moment."

Who is that with Jeremy?
This web site is totally intriguing: a dad catalogued lots and lots of pictures of baby Jeremy posing with various celebrities, often in and around NYC. I swear to God, I've never seen a more beatific baby than this one. He seemed to be the most ecstatic about hanging out with Clifford the Big Red Dog, though. (via tmn)

Mikesch
Poor kitty! Don't you feel a little sorry for him? It sounds like he misses his owner. The picture is kind of priceless, though. (Thanks for the link, James).

TYJ
This man who lost 340 pounds in 13 months started a weight loss ministry called TYJ (Thank You Jesus). I love it. (via os)

Worst Manual Contest Winners 2002 (via tem)

Vagabonding
If you have time to kill and are feeling that armchair traveler urge, check out the website vagabonding which details one dude's year-long trip around the world.

Here he gives recipes from his cooking course in Chiang Mai, Thailand. Suzi and I did one and it was awesome. You get an apron and a sweet little stove top with all of the prepped ingredients that you basically just mix together and cook. Fool proof, pretty much. The best part is that you make like six dishes and they you sit around and eat them! Mmmm.

Here, he's in paradise in Malawi.

Here, he details the "worst bus ride ever" (the kind of stories that I Lerv).

The site's video archives are especially great. The best part about this all is that it seems that he updated as he moved along from place to place, when the memories were still fresh.

Creating dependency like crazy
This article is about how Starbucks coffee has twice as much caffeine as a cup of Folgers, to the surprise of noone. I have been trying to drink half-caf drinks lately, but one afternoon recently I very stupidly purchased a regular iced coffee from Starbucks as a little pick-me-up. I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Never would I have thought that I would reach the day when caffeine would be too stimulating. As an interesting aside, the author of this article attended my work's conference this past November, as he will be writing an article about one of our state projects.

For more coffee news, our old college workplace, Baskin-Robbins apparently has a speciality flavor called Dunkin Donuts Coffee ice cream (I know that Des would love this the most). YUM. I remember when we wanted to stay up all night studying, we would prepare and extra strong BR cappuccino blast. I still love those things.

They look like Skittles
This is a day late, but this article celebrates festive-colored chicks. I know that there's got to be something wrong with all of this, but they're so damn cute.

Did you know that Jerri Blank, the snaggle-toothed middle-aged high schooler in Strangers with Candy is based on a character named Florrie Fisher? From what I can gather, she's a character in a 1970 anti-drug movie. (via sharpeworld)

Hope
My parents are in for the cat! Well, to be specific, my dad is in and my mom is resigned, which is about the best that you're going to get. My dad and I are going to try to meet Ali at his foster mom's house. It will take all I have not to snatch him away at my first chance.

Surprise "Mashed Potatoes"
I made the South Beach diet fake mashed potatoes on Sunday night. They're basically pureed cauliflower with a little fat-free half and half and a couple of sprays of I can't believe it's not butter. Sounds delish, right? I will tell you that you can't tell that they're not potatoes when they're sitting the bowl, and the taste was as you would expect, but of course a sad comparison to the real thing. The best part about the whole endeavor for me was to offer some to my little brother without telling him it's true ingredients and watching him grimace in disgust. Hee. Needless to say, the surprise Mashed Potatoes was the loneliest bowl on the dinner table.

Home for Easter
I'm lounging at home this morning before becoming slaving over the stove. My mom has put me in charge of all of the carb-heavy side dishes for dinner--stuffing and mashed potatoes. SBD Hell.

I did realize that I am my mother's daughter this morning, though. As I was sitting at the breakfast table, drinking my coffee, reading the news and minding my own business, my mom said to me "something happened this morning that will gross you out." There was an actual emphasis on 'gross' and there was a tinge of relish in that statement.

She then went on to tell me that when she walked into the bathroom, she found a mouse floating in the toilet bowl. At my howls, she started cackling. I would have loved getting a reaction from that as well.

But the exciting news is that my parents have succumbed and are considering getting a cat. I offered to jump up right then and there to check out the shelters with them, but I think they were a little put off by my enthusiasm, and my mom started yelling "we have to think about this!" We're so going to go next week, though. One cat has already caught my eye. I went to the Northern Virginina SPCA web site and they have a cat for adoption named Ali. He is a big affectionate orange tabby, and he got his name because he used to hang around a local mosque and visit with the people there. How cute is that? If my parents decide they don't want to have a cat, Ali can come with me to Chicago. Kristin and Ali, making it together in a new city: I can see it now.

Factcheck.org
This is an interesting website that is non-profit and non-partisan. I just scanned through it, and it seems to be okay, but I'm not sure how on the money they are. Plus, there is so much out there for them to chew on, that I was expecting tons of items. Perhaps they're spending all of their time researching this stuff instead.

Misunderstood Kanji characters
This is an article in the Chicago Tribune that shows random tattoos found on Chicagoans of Japanese characters, comparing what they think that tattoos mean, and what they actually mean. Awesome.

This one is my favorite:
What he thinks his tattoos say: "Love hurts."
What they actually say: The meanings of the two tattoos roughly translate to "love" and "it hurts." They'd never be used together, however, and they appear to say "love -- OW!" or "I love this tattoo but it was painful to get."

Freaky but addictive
Have you guys seen the Subservient Chicken? The amateur production values freak me out a little, but it's kind of ingenius. I made him dance, watch tv, scratch himself, shake his wings, etc, and he did it all. However, I also asked him to "do the busstop" (the dance, you know it), and I think it confused him, as he then got onto the ground and rolled around. I don't know what's going on there, but you guys try and tell me what you made him do.

When Animals Attack
Stories about incorrigable animals get me everytime. This story about a very tenacious otter and the Dartmouth crew team cracks me up. This tale especially goes out to Anne and Erik, the rowers in my life. The highlights:

The otter promptly began to lunge and hiss viciously at the coaches, who frantically used paddles and a megaphone to try to force the animal out of the boat. After a short battle, the two parties reached a standoff – the hissing and glaring otter in the stern of the boat, the coaches armed and ready for action in the middle.

Suddenly, the otter attacked again. As the otter lunged over the bench in the stern, Armstrong swiftly used his paddle to flip the animal into the river.

The otter's aggression, however, did not end there. Shortly after the otter had returned to shore, the animal jumped back into the river, swimming directly toward the second varsity boat that was in the process of turning around. The boats immediately fled. (via the obst)

Oh my goodness
Thanks again to Anne for sending me this Japanese site that houses a collection of close-up dog pictures and a few cats as well. WARNING: extreme cuteness ahead. More cuteness here, and here, and here.

More Peeps Madness
Anne sent me this most amazing link about a fantastic practical joke involving peeps and someone's office.