Sunday
My dad's photography website is back up. Check it out! He also informed me that my little brother's boat at his final crew tournament in Orlando was disqualified because of too much cursing. HI-larious. Nice job, boys. Way to make the most of that trip.

Last night was Des and Bryan's most excellent BBQ. They had tiki torches, burgers and brats, and arranged for the fantastic, cool, bug-battling weather. I enjoyed myself immensely and now and spending the morning in a quiet state of recovery.

Speaking of bugs, it seems that while neighborhoods in Arlington are swarming with cicadas, there are barely any here in Alexandria. Someone surmised last night that must be because of the new construction. Perhaps, but I feel like I'm deprived of the crazy cicada experience!

Possibly the only thing of note that I've learned today is that Jake Gyllenhaal is four years younger than me. That's not so bad. Fametracker just did his Fame Audit, btw.

Long Weekend
Woot: Memorial Day weekend cometh soon! Our office is releasing us today at three, which is lovely. I'm sticking around DC to clean and hopefully organize my foul cesspool of a bedroom. I long to be a tidy, organized person, but I think that persona will forever elude me. Matt is gone to Chicago for the weekend, so it will be Spike and myself, kicking it in realtime.

The metros and the streets are a lot emptier than usual since I think many people made a four-day weekend out of it (and two lucky women I know got the day off from their jobs for various reasons).

Woefully overdue
hey, check out Bill's blog! He's a well-written music afficianado still hanging out in hipster heaven, aka Richmond. He was also my across the street neighbor while I lived there. Whatever happened to your wee dog, Bill? Anyway, Bill really loves the harsh, cheap Chinese liquor, so I'll be bringing him back a case soon.

More Armchair Traveling
Check out this Piperboy's Scrapbook. It's a fabulously designed site, and the photos are great. (via tmn)

Cracking up
I was reading a Slate article that cited Toby Keith and included some snippets of his song. I'm sure that you've heard his most famous hit of a couple of years ago, "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue"? The Slate song snippet was only of one line, which is THE most hilarious one:

..Cause we'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way.

That is so fricking hilarious. I totally want that to become part of my lexicon, and find a way to work it into every day conversations.

More from the UN
Carrie so kindly allowed me to post more of her stories from working in Jakarta. I was tickled by this. Apparently, things are quite happening over there. Enjoy!

In other news, remember how there was that ridiculous small arms questionnaire that went around the office here? And I thought it was asking about how many flame throwers I own and how often I lob grenades?? Anyway, in keeping with the saga of the UN questionnaire tradition, a new one went around today on. . . . condom availability? Apparently the UN Development Programme office (where I work, dig the British spelling!) was supposed to receive a shipment of condoms from UNIFEM (the ladies UN or something) and we have not, and the resident rep of the whole UN system in Indonesia has gone online asking about this, where the condoms are and what kind of questionnaires are accompanying these critical little devices to facilitate the proverbial "knocking of boots". And so now this morning a questionnaire, entitled "Condom Supply and Availability" has been sent around. Here's my favorite question:

-- Because female condom is not available in Indonesia, UNFPA at the time being could only provide male condoms. Does your organization / staff has any specific request regarding the male condoms? (size, brands, flavor, etc. ?)

FLAVOR!! Yeesssss.... Durian please. Double durian. Or maybe nasi goreng, some tasty left over fried rice funk flavor?! Yeeesssss..

The most mild mannered cat in the office has had to belly up to this one, writing onto the form (which has been circulated) "The office does not make condoms available to staff as condoms are easily bought in the local marker at a relatively cheap price. Culturally, it is not common to talk about condoms in among Indonesians." Oh! he's cringing!

Working here is a riot. I know I am a little juvenile to be laughing at this form, but there's nothing like a big cheesy big-wig chasing around the little people, making them respond to these hilarious forms. Apparently we are all getting it on in Indonesia and there is no shortage of prophylactics!! Sweet.

Wish that I had something interesting to post today, but I don't. It's a quiet day around here, but I'm about to pop out in ten minutes to have a Last Hurrah coffee with Don before he heads off to Armenia next week. I've been listening to American Analog Set all morning and it's put me in a light, dreamy mood.

Oh, I will comment that I had exceptionally great sleep last night. I think part of it was the cooler temperature outside that lended (lent?) itself to deeper slumber.

Lame post, I know. I don't have the energy to do much about it right now, though.

Celebration
There's a new David Sedaris book coming out on June 1st!

Back
Ah, Austin was lovely. It was a great long weekend, and while I felt sorry for my brother who took on the job of being the gracious host/babysitter, I am grateful as well and glad that it happened that way. Truly, though, the weather was warm and dry and enveloping, and the land was alarmingly like Zambia, complete with little bungalows by the side of the road. My entire family commented that it was like being in Africa again, which might sound precious, but was amazingly true. It was quite challenging to stay on SBD, since pretty much every meal was served with fresh chips and salsa (Lord, give me strength), but my mom served as SBD police so we were all set. Anyway, major congrats to Robin who is now a MBA. My parents were talking about how the would add "...the MBA" to Robin's name, every time they mention it now. Awesome.

Also, everything is so cheap in Austin, comparatively. Robin (the MBA) and his roommates pay under $400 for their rooms (which are like twice the size of mine with WALK-IN CLOSETS and their OWN bathrooms). Granted, there were four of them. One night, they took me out on the town and I bought a round where the mixed drinks were $3 each. Robin and his roommate, Chris, were grousing over how they raised the price so high for graduation weekend, but I was busy picking my jaw off the floor in my shock over how cheap they were. Apparently, at that bar, the drinks are usually 50 cents. Jeebus.

James mentions in his blog recently about how he gets carded regularly. To add to that thread, two different times this weekend people asked me if I was finishing high school when I told them I was "going to school" next year. Hilarious, but there's no way I'm passing for 17...or perhaps they think that I'm extremely delayed. I think I need to specify that it's GRAD school I'm going to next year.

And in Chicago news, I have an apartment now! I'll be moving in with Jenny, of the famed Second City. Commuting will be the one challenge, besides the cold, but I'm thrilled over the ease of it all, and I also think that it will be a blast. Plus, now I don't have to take time off to go and troll for apartments. I'll forward the mailing address later on. One to-do item down, thousands more to go. Anyway, Jenny and I met by being in the same sorority in college--which you wouldn't probably guess--but Jenny told me yesterday that she was going to drape the apartment in green and white with plenty of pearl strands in honor of our sisterhood.

And finally, Licorice, my precious car, had her first accident. My dad backed into her by accident, so we rushed her to get her front panel replaced yesterday. It's not a huge deal, but the first ding is always kind of unsettling. Honestly, if it had happened before I had taken vacation, I might have started crying or something, but I am so relaxed after this weekend, nothing is permeating this shell of mellowness. Remember that part in "Office Space," when Ron Livingston is under hypnosis and wanders around in a sleepy, pleased daze? That's kind of where I am right now.

Actually, on the REAL final note, I have to share this. My poor boss had her car stolen this morning from her neighborhood, Cleveland Park. It's a safe, well-to-do neighborhood, and she parked her Accord in front of her apartment, under a streetlight. It was gone this morning. But the kicker, is that this is the SECOND time this has happened to her. She had another car stolen from her in Capitol Hill ten years ago.

Off to lovely Austin for Robin's graduation. I'm looking forward to the jaunt out of town. Back Tuesday!

The UN picks Ten Stories the World Should Hear About here. (via tmn)

Kurt Vonnegut's piece "Cold Turkey" about America and oil and its role in the world right now. I can't believe that he's 81.

This dude wanted to escape a public urination charge, so he did the only conceivable thing to escape: he attempted to ship himself in a box to his friend. The thing is, the box wasn't scheduled to be sent till the end of the month, so when finally caught on and found him (two weeks later or something) he was still inside, all disoriented and dehydrated.(via os)

Crazy Flashes from the Past
This has been quite an eventful week, in terms of people popping up from the past. On Friday night, I got a call from Bronwyn close to midnight, which was out of the ordinary. When I checked messages, the message was from a high school friend who I hadn't spoken to since graduation. He, another high school friend, and Bronwyn were out drinking margaritas one night during our Ten Year Reunion weekend (which I opted out of), and he had nabbed Bronwyn's phone to call. I called back and spoke to both Abdi and Tom, which was kind of wild. TEN years. Jesus.

And then, last night, I got an email that I was set to delete, suspecting that it was spam, until I noticed the subject heading: "Hello from ISI." ISI was our beloved school in Islamabad that I left in eighth grade, yet the bonds from alumni are still pretty tight. Anyhow, the message was from this fellow, Dave, who was in eighth grade with me--he had gotten my address from Robert (names given in case you might know who they are) who I had been in touch with about three years ago. Dave was the gangly funny man when we were in middle school with a massive crush on my friend, Christie. He coaxed his family to name their dog after her, which still kind of cracks me up to this day. Regardless, Dave was out of my sphere of thought for about 14 years now, so it was wild to see his name again. Apparently, he's in DC now finishing up grad school and is headed to Chicago next year as well.

Indeed, the HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO DESIREE!
Girl, you know you are the best, and your Asian blood only makes you sweeter.

Sorry, I don't see "Crazy MF" listed
In our office, we keep one tray of the printer loaded with scrap paper, so we can utilize the dead trees as much as possible. I just printed something out and noticed that the paper on which the first page was printed was originally a Fax. It's a fax from the Paraolympic Games 2004 in Athens, and one of the women on my floor was filling out the registration to attend. Of course, there's a space for the name, there's a spot where you mark your sex, and then, there's the part for "title." The following are the boxes that you can check:

"His/Her Royal Highness"
"His/Her Majesty"
"His/Her Serene Highness"
"His/Her Excellency"
"Professor"
and, finally
"Doctor."

I never knew that Her Serene Highness is actually a recognized title. I'm all over it!

Jon Stewart was William & Mary's commencement speaker this year (lucky Clarence got to see him). We got the Thomas Jefferson specialist who ended up lying about his past. Anyway, here's the link to the speech, and it's hilarious and great, as would be expected.

China, in response to the State Department's Country Reports on Human Rights:
"Shut up. You suck!"

This is so awesome. This is China's report called The Human Rights Record of the United States in 2003, which was their jab back at the US for the probably not-too-pretty report on them.

It starts out:

On February 25, 2004, the State Department of the United States released its Country Reports on Human Rights Practices for 2003 (called the "reports" thereafter). As in previous years, the United States once again acted as "the world human rights police" by distorting and censuring in the "reports" the human rights situations in more than 190 countries and regions across the world, including China. And just as usual, the United States once again "omitted" its own long-standing malpractice and problems of human rights in the "reports". Therefore, we have to, as before, help the United States keep its human rights record.

Some of the infringements:

Unrestrained evil social forces and widespread drug abuse endangered the people's life and safety. According to a report released by US National Youth Gang Center, there were altogether 21,500 sinister gangs in the United States in 2002 with a combined membership of 731,000. In April 2003, an innocent woman was killed in a gang shootout in New York. Police had to impose a state of citywide emergency in the summer of 2003 due to frequent gang-related violence (see the edition of USA Today on Dec. 16, 2003).

and

According to an AP report, a woman in the city of Detroit had one of her fingers cut off and another finger injured by the police simply for a dispute with them in a parking lot. The report said the police also boxed her ears and tore her hair.

If you look at the "report," (it likes to use quotation marks, so I will join the spirit of things), it's long and cites papers like the NY Times, and the Post, and USA Today (?). I definitely will not argue that the list contains horrible things, but I find that China had to put together a retaliatory report pretty interesting and not unfunny, either. I also love that they use the word "sinister" and the term "boxed her ears." Again, awesome.

Last night...
...As I lay in bed, I re-devoured both Definition and Potential, the graphic novels that are basically the high school diaries of Ariel Schrag of Berkeley High School. Schrag is hilarious, intelligent, and amazingly candid--not afraid to show low moments as well as high ones. I'm actually amazed that she could be so self-aware and articulate when she was 16 and 17, and frankly, I'm kind of jealous. She's in the middle of working on her series, Likewise, about her senior year in high school, so there's more to come.