Nothing but cats
I don't have anything to report today, except that I'll harken back to this website for images of some befuddled cats dressed to the nines. I LOVE it. Especially the cat in the duckie hat. I'm so getting these for future felines in my life.

For some other cat outfit craziness, check out this website. How about that camo visor?? Or the yarmulke? Consider me slain.

Just Desserts
AOL is auctioning off a spammer's Porsche. That's too perfect.

Where I will be on Tuesday and Wednesday Nights
You can find me in front of the TV, entranced in the excellent documentary series, The New Americans. It's seven hours long, and three nights straight, PBS style (which I prefer, since I'm impatient), and follows several people from all around the world attempting to immigrate to the States. What's cool about it is that it's over a period of four years, so you see them when the start out in their own countries and then the next episodes will detail their progress in America. Although each subject is appealing in his or her own way, my favorites are Israel and Ngozi, who are Ogoni refugees from West Africa. Israel was a chemical engineer in his old life, and then got into trouble for protesting against Shell Oil, and is now struggling to make it in America on $7/h, cleaning up after people. Even after being told that he has deadly blood pressure and wouldn't be allowed to work anymore, he's still sunny and supportive of his wife and willingly plays housedad. At one moment, when Israel was getting ready to board the bus from his refugee camp to the airport, he wondered aloud if his experience would be lik Eddie Murphy's in "Coming to America." That is so crazy in so many ways. Perhaps the perspective will give me pause before I whine about a 20 minute wait for a train.

Peeps Rubs Elbows with Celebs -- supporting Easter Seals!
Thanks to Don who sent this link: more on Peeps and it's work. You can get a an autographed picture and a Peeps clock from Vanna White? When does the bidding start??

I love this:
Ms. Rice "has appeared everywhere except my local Starbucks," Richard Ben-Veniste, a member of the commission, said in an interview. "For the White House to continue to refuse to make her available simply does not make sense."
Beware another frightening Condi photo.

Crankypants
Last night my temporary filling fell out as I finished eating dinner. I had been suspicious of its longevity for a few days, since it kind of felt like someone stuck some Play-doh over my tooth hole, rather than molding something that would stick. Having nothing covering the bare gum was pretty horrendous--I could eat nothing and could drink very little. This put me out of sorts, and my cranky mode went into overload this morning after fitful sleep, causing me to complain and email several unhappy emoticons. I went in at 10:30 this morning, and they patched me up quickly and painlessly. The dental technician who I like the best (so sad that I have favorites now) did a thorough job and spent a few minutes drying the stuff she put in there, even. I can drink and eat again, Hallelujah!

My grumpiness and self-pity cracks me up in light of my horoscope this morning:

Capricorn: Try to be happy for someone else. You're not likely to be the center of attention, and that's OK; avoid feeling sorry for yourself.

I don't think that the horoscope person thinks very highly of Capricorns.

I love my brother
Please find below my little brother's thank you note to me for donating money to his crew team...voluntarily.

Dear Kristin,
I've decided to write you a haiku in thanks for sponsoring me in crew.

Kristin, a sister
sponsored me for the crew team
Twenty-five, cheapskate

Love, Erik

From this week's Onion

New York Times Seeks Court Order To Remove Tuesdays With Morrie From Bestseller List
NEW YORK—The New York Times announced Monday that it will seek a court order to have Mitch Albom's book of discussions between himself and his dying mentor, Tuesdays With Morrie, forcibly removed from the paperback non-fiction bestseller list. "We've tolerated the old dead guy's ramblings for the past 66 weeks," Times Sunday books-section editor Mel Constantine said. "But now it's simply gotta go. I want Morrie out of my list—permanently." Should the order be successful, the book's slot on the list will be replaced by a line urging readers to donate to the Fresh Air Fund.

Awesome!

Little Hats
This Daily Show clip that involves Rob Corddry donning a little hat, slays me.

Anagrams
Thanks to Steve who sent this cool link on anagrams. Enter your name and see what happens. For my name, some of my favorites are:

KASHMIR AN NIT
RAKISH MAN TIN
MANNISH ARK IT
I HITMAN SNARK
IRISH MAN TANK

and the ever wise AN ANT ISH MIRK

Steve found: MARTIAN KNISH and MANAKIN SHIRT

Springtime
Ah, the arrival of spring in DC. Before the humidity sets in and scorches the sidewalks, there are days like this, when it hovers close to 70 degrees and it's sunny. It's criminally heavenly outside. I went for a (very leisurely--think injured sloth) jog around the Washington Monument today to shake off the cubicle blahs. I was hot, if you can believe it.

In other news, after a conversation about the qualities of different boxed chocolates that Matt, Anne, and I had last night, he came back from working out with a box of Whitman Samplers in tow (sugar-free for SBD!). I will sincerely miss living with him next year.

Teef Revisited
I spent the morning at my second home, the dentist's office. I had to get a filling replaced, but when the dentist dug around a little bit, he discovered that I had one filling on top of another, like a layer cake, and that allowed for some nice decay to seep in. He took another horrifying picture of the drilled out wreck of a tooth and showed me how one of the sides of it is wanting to break off and be independent of my mouth. I like the image of that tooth campaigning to secede. I have to get another outlay put in (which is what I discovered I got last time, rather than a crown--outlays are less expensive and, according the dentist, "more conservative."). After they took another mold of this offending tooth, I went directly to get my teeth cleaning finished up from last time. Suffice it to say that more scraping ensued. I'll spare you the gorey details, but apparently I had a lot left to go. It was quite thorough, and my teeth had better be the picture of dental health right now.

Anyway, I need to go back to get my outlay put in, in a couple of weeks, and then go back two MORE times to get fitted for a mouth guard, since I'm grinding my teeth into oblivion. Without insurance, a fitted mouth guard costs a cool $450, but since I was expecting it to be like $600, my reaction was to the tune of: "what a bargain!" How pathetically skewed my perspective has become after all of this dental work.

No major bills yet for the recent work done, and I'm frightened of when that hammer drops. Let this be a lesson to everyone: never skip your regular dental visits if you have insurance, otherwise you pay the piper. And my piper's name is Dr. Balshaw.

Btw:
Tonight is the final episode of ANTM Season 2! Don't tell me what happens tomorrow morning, as I have to tape it tonight. Although I liked Joanna at first, I think I'm rooting for Mercedes right now, since she's probably the least likely to win, in my opinion. Plus, I totally fall for the cute, perky thing she's got going on. I actually think that Shandi has the best chance of winning, though. What's your opinion?

Gawker Stalker Stalker
Check out the Gawker Stalker column today, as our vroom-vroom submitted something that got published! It's the one about Dave Pajo and Karen Elson. Grace took me to see Dave Pajo/Papa M's show last time I visited her in NY, so this is all the more heady an experience for me. It should be noted that Grace pretty much trips over celebrities, she has so many sightings. YGG.

More Awesomeness
Go to James' blog, Your Logo Here, and read about his brother's rise to fame with his eBay auction selling imaginary WMDs.

Rocking Out
I discovered yesterday, while visiting my family, that my parents are taking Erik and his buddy to see an Yngwie Malmsteen concert in Baltimore. They're not just dropping them off at the the place, they are going to go in and enjoy the concert as well. I started laughing as soon as I discovered that, since these were the people who after seeing Paul Simon in concert complained over how raucously loud it was. And now they're *voluntarily* going to see Yngwie Malmsteen. When I informed them that this concert would be sure to be on the loud side, my mom disbelievingly exclaimed: 'No!'

I was almost driven to offer to take Erik and his friend instead to save them their imminent misery, but I didn't because:
1. It's kind of funny.
2. I have taken Erik and his brood of friends to a concert before--Green Day a couple of years ago when they played at American University. Trying to keep track of three 12-year olds in a crowded venue was no fun--I was perhaps the most serious and stressed of the people in the room.

This reminds me of when my aunt was telling me about how she won tickets at work to a concert to a band that she had never heard of, and took my cousin (then 10 or something) and a neighbor and the neighbor's kid. When retelling it, she also exclaimed over the loudness of it all. I asked her what the concert was, and she informed me that they had gone to see KISS. Awesome.

I Love the Library
I have been driven to exclaim before about the greatness about the Alexandria Central Library, but I must do so again. As I was telling people on Saturday night (and it was so scintillating, the news is getting retold), I was startled and pleased to find that the library had in their DVD section Grey Gardens, the Criterion version. I had read about this cult classic in a few places, but Netflix doesn't carry it for some reason (maybe they don't carry Criterion dvds). Imagine my pleasure when I saw the dvd peeking from the library shelves. I watched it on Saturday when I got home, and it's something else. Anyway, I also picked up Al Franken's Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, and have been voraciously reading it. I never read his Rush Limbaugh book, but I might have to go find it now. The Lies book is great, though--I was laughing out loud this morning reading it.

And, just to show that I am liberal and also have a sense of humor about it, check out this article in the New Yorker.

The Man Behind the Daily Columns
I rely usually on Slate's Today's Papers for my daily news dose, since it does such a good job of concisely summarizing everything (I also like their International Papers column, which often sheds light on a topic on which I was characteristically oblivious). Here is an interview with Eruc Umansky who is the man who puts together the "Today's Papers" column. It sounds like a pretty good job, except for the insane hours.

Shocking
Whoa, it looks like people shot at and hit the President and VP or Taiwan right before the elections and referendum! Suzi is over there with her class right now to see the elections, so I bet they're up to their knees in craziness right now.

Discovery of the day
This article talks about how scales work differently on carpets than on hard floors. I discovered that today when I tried my scale on both, and on the carpet, the number was greater by like six or seven pounds! What is up with that? I've been weighing myself on the carpet all of the time, when apparently scales are actually callibrated for the hard floors. My mistake. I've been more interested in my rate of weight loss with the diet, though, and I think that that's been measured throughout this time. I just know now that I'll be doing my weekly weigh-ins in the bathroom now.

My husband's Fame Audit
Fametracker just did a fame audit for my husband of the week, Topher Grace. I think I may be the one person alive who isn't completely loving "That 70s Show," but my love for Mr. Grace shineth through regardless. I overcome the odds when I must. I didn't see "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton," though.

Peeps in the Library
Thanks to Anne who helped me continue with my Peeps theme, by sending this document of the Peeps keeping it real in the library. I particularly like the section on the Peeps engaging in inappropriate behavior.

Servitude Recounted
I finally got around to linking to James' fabulous diary of his time at the Ground Round in Frederick, MD a couple of summers ago. Read it, and I promise you'll chuckle out loud.

Application time
Ah, thank you to the true friend out there (you know who you are) who sent the America's Next Top Model Season 3 application. It's way too long to list, but here are some highlights.

This sentence came straight out of the directions: Don't answer a question hoping to give us an answer we "want" to hear.
I love superfluous quotation marks!

Here are some of the many, many questions:

8. Email address (if you don't have one, tell us why you don't.)

12. Have you ever had a restraining order against you? If so, tell us about it (include dates, city & state)

25. Describe your relationship with your mother.

26. Describe your relationship with your father.

32. How often do you get drunk? How do you act when you get drunk?

49. Do you have a temper? How often do you lose your temper? What provokes you?

52. When was the last time you hit, punched, kicked something in anger? Please provide details.

59. Have you ever been to a nude beach? If so, what was it like?

Iceberg Lettuce and Coffee
Perhaps because I'm knee deep in the South Beach diet, this National Lampoon piece about the Iceberg lettuce and coffee diet made me crack up. Scroll down and see one of the "Problems you might encounter" ... death. The foods to enjoy/avoid list slays me the most, though.

Safety Measures
I was telling Marv last night about my tripping accident yesterday, and we discussed how I should purchase an adult-sized baby walker (one of those roll-y things that surrounds you) to keep me from tripping and skinning my knees. Marv asked what it would be like if I got on the metro with it, all EXCUSE ME! COMING THROUGH!, and just roll on in, chilling and minding my own business.

That would be sweet.

What dat is?
That's what people would ask if they saw me driving around in a Pikachu styled Beetle.

(via Lotsofco, where they also have a link to the song "My Baby Daddy" that provided the inspiration for this post.)

Who Knew?
1. Booz Allen, the consulting firm, recently moved onto our floor. They have nice digs and also unfortunately have come down in massive droves to our small gym downstairs, disturbing the delicate cycles of the regular users (I'm kind of annoyed that they do, because they of all people can afford gym fees, dude.) Anyway, I passed by their meeting room on the way to the bathroom, and saw that six of them were sitting in there with beers! 4pm on Tuesday is apparently happy hour in the office in the private sector!

2. One of the projects in our office has loads and loads of accessible materials, since they work so much with material distribution and have a clearinghouse for it. They have in their possession a Playboy magazine in Braille! Apparently, it was one of the first magazines to go completely accessible. Pretty cool. We're not sure if they provided descriptions of the pictures in there, but if it was truly accessible, they should have.

The Klutz in Me
I faced the ugly weather out today in order to get some fresh air and stretch my legs. I walked along, minding my own business, when my foot went out from under me and I totally slipped and fell on my knee, ripping another pair of hose and skinned my knee again...to the surprise of noone who knows me. I hobbled back to the office and found some Band-aids.

Okay, one more...
I thought I was done with the McSweeney's lists, but then I saw this one, which made me laugh out loud. All you ESL teachers would appreciate it. Honestly, the third and fourth ones...leave me helpless in their wake.

This reminds me of what happened with my co-worker, Brett, in Beijing. He had assigned his class to write letters to themselves when their English course with him started, in which they should detail what they hoped to acheive in the duration of the course. I think that Brett had told his students that he wouldn't read their letters--that they would be private--but eventually he opened them up and read them anyway. This was a class made up of PhD or graduate students...the point is that they were older. Anyway, there was one student whose chosen English name was Horse. He was in several of Brett's classes, so Brett was pretty familiar with him, and looked out for Horse's letter in the batch. When he found it, he discovered that Horse's letter to himself read:

Dear Monkey,

....

I love that--no explanation or anything, but that seemed to be Horse's pet name for himself.

On another note, Brett had another student whose English name was Fishermen (plural), and he had a sidekick who Brett nicknamed "Fishermen's Friend," which cracked me up.

And finally, Suzi had one student in her class who wanted her English name to be Tinky-Winky, after the Teletubby. I can't remember if she actually went through with it or not, though! Let's hope so.

McSweeney's Lists
Can't get enough of McSweeney's Lists. Check out this outdated, but still hilarious one. Yosemite Sam--ha!

This one totally kills me, though. I feel like there are conversations that I've had in life that sound like this.

This one is for Erik. (Mom or Dad, can you please show this to him, or print it out??)

Sounds like one of the games we used to play in college, but also very true.

I always appreciate one about American Idol.

And finally, my little email group, Friends of Gary, spent the day compiling pickup lines. So, this one goes out to them. It's especially apropos since Grace recently came out as a non-serial killer.

Lucky
Erik informed me yesterday that he's getting an iPod this week. Was it because he saved up his allowance and Christmas money, you ask? No. He's actually being given one for free by my very generous uncle. My uncle won it in a raffle at his job (pretty nice prize), and is giving it to Erik after he heard that Erik was "saving" for one of his own. Anyway, apparently once Erik heard about it, he promptly went up to his room and IMed our cousin (same side of the family, his age) in California about it, in order to begin his notifications that he is indeed the luckiest of us all. Okay, I admit I'm a little jealous myself.

Stoopid
Did you hear about how some of those dumb people on MTV's Fraternity Life kidnapped another college's beloved, old koi fish and killed it, grilled it, and served it to their pledges (?!). One of the guys is in court for it right now. Note that he graduated with a psych degree. Sweet.

More Peeps
Make your own Peeps! Honestly, though, how nasty do you imagine that these would be?? (via pcjm)

Indecisive about election day?
Bronwyn emailed this helpful political game to help you figure out your best choice for the coming elections!

New Phone
My roommate got a new phone, and he's enraptured with his new toy. This morning he snapped a picture of me as I was stuffing some lunch down my maw, and promptly (and gleefully) showed it to me. Two minutes later I got a text message from him that he typed out as he was lying on the couch next to where I was sitting. It read: "Lunch?" As I read it, he exclaimed that he should have saved the picture of me eating, so he could have sent it along with the text as a multi-media message. He cracks me up.

Slate's Pressbox doesn't like Wonkette or Gawker. See what he has to say about it. Although I agree with him to some degree (although I still enjoy both), I think calling the writers "heaving pukes" is a bit extreme.

Whoa - Check out this picture

Powerball Winner Robbed Twice in One Week.

Peep-tacular
The Marshmallow Peeps Fun Bus is going to be coming to your town soon! Watch out for it. Peeps is in a partnership with Easter Seals, so you best get out and support. Check out the website: if you buy the cool Peeps t-shirts, then the proceeds go to Easter Seals.

You can also join the Official Peeps Fan Club, where you can "share your favorite Peeps memory...and if the Mayor of Peepsville picks it to appear in the Peeps Post, fans across the nation will adore you." How's that for fame?

I don't even particularly like Peeps, but they're so odd that I get a kick out of them.

Struck Again
The same apartment in our little apartment house was struck again today! I came home to the woman on the first floor standing in the hallway looking dejected. Whoever it was struck exactly the same way (knocked out their kitchen window during the day) and finished the job. Last time, apparently, the thief left the dvd player and vcr, so they came back to get that. Our landlord is wintering is Florida, and they haven't returned our neighbor's phone calls from the first robbery.

More on the 9-11 Ads
I knew about the brouhaha over Bush's use of 9-11 images in his campaign ads, but I didn't realize that they hired actors to portray firefighters carrying a flag-draped coffin. CLASSY.

Also, this?

After Bush's ads ran, an Oklahoma Republican congressman, Tom Cole, stated the rank-and-file's political conventional wisdom: "I promise you this, if George Bush loses the election, Osama bin Laden wins the election. It's that simple."

Oh brother.

Censorship!
Apparently, UPN put on a clip show of ANTM2 this week to figure out how to handle next week's racy episode. Much of it is hitting the cutting room floor, I guess. They totally teased us in the promos, though.

Sweet Nectar of the Gods
One more reason to drink coffee--it wards off diabetes! Don sent me this link about it that made my morning.

Pathetic Geek Stories
Have you seen the site?

Happy, Happy
Happy Birthday to Charles, who is 28 today! Major congratulations, as well, for your exciting new job in San Fran. How soon before you accept visitors?

Crazy
As I transferred from the yellow to red line this morning at Gallery Place-Chinatown (how much the layout of that station sucks is an entire other post), I piled onto a very crowded train with the rest of humanity. We were all squished toward one door, while there was a righteous crazy guy holding court at the other door. He was all spread out, holding on to two different hold bars, which is kind of unfair considering how packed in the rest of us were. He was flaunting his space. All's fair in love and insanity, though. At first I didn't know what he was talking about, but I figured out that it was a diatribe about that guy who got dragged for nine miles on 95 after being hit while changing his tire (horrific story that one).

Then, the crazy man paused though and (tangentially?) cried out: "And then she said, 'why'd you take my car without asking?!' And I said, 'wha-?!'"
Hey, I like that shtick too! Play dumb, that's the way to do it.

We had another sweeeet teleconference last night, but this one was only two and a half hours. Not to worry, though, there's another one tomorrow, which may be a marathon as well. All of these calls are about a grant proposal, though, and I should definitely not be the one complaing, as I'm not the one who was the put all of the many pieces together, a coat of many colors if you will.

In other news, after a fun night chowing down on some cheap wings, I hurried home to watch the America's Next Top Model that I had just taped. I peeled open a sugar-free fudgsicle, nestled into the couch, and pressed the remote button to discover that this week's show was a dratted recap of the past weeks. Why must they toy with their viewing audience like that? Next week will be a doozy, though. I read about it, and the network is not even sure how to handle it. I won't tell you what the topic is, as this web site is PG-13, but let my warning whet your appetite and assure you of scandal. Sweet relief, though, in that I read that Tyra Banks signed on for two more seasons of the show.

Never Stumble in Cocktail Party Debates Again
Everything you ever wanted to know about everything at The Economist's Research Backgrounders website.

A Spiritual Man
Some guy got fired from Wal-Mart for wearing excessive religious paraphrenalia. This article has GOT to be written tongue-in-cheek:

He says he was fired last week upon reporting for duty in his priest's shirt with Roman collar, an Arab headdress and six crosses.

Supervisors had warned Lorenz that his job was at risk over his appearance, which they said violated dress codes and upset customers and fellow workers, particularly Catholics.

But Lorenz, 20, ignored requests to shed the shirt and collar — the main bones of contention — claiming they reflect his unique spiritual beliefs.

"I told them that would be like turning my back on God, and I couldn't do that," said the Pipe Creek man whose religious fervor was fueled by a 2001 trip to Turkey, Syria, Jordan and Egypt.

There, Lorenz first donned a kaffiyeh, an Arab headdress of folded cloth that's held on by a cord. Rounding out his unorthodox look are patches on his hip pack bearing the anarchy symbol and the words "vampire" and "ninja."

And later:

Lorenz's ponytail and fuzzy chin reflect his belief that hair should not be cut because he is only "borrowing" his body. He won't date or marry, because all humans are family, he said, and that would make it incest.

More Blacklight
After the entry about the blacklight posters, I received this link with some *awesome* blacklight posters for sale! Actually, they have Erik's yin yang poster, but no Rasta Alien, unfortunately. Don't worry, though, there are many, many other aliens to choose from.

Seeing all of these posters begs the question: what would you do if you were hitting it off with someone (romantically or platonically, it doesn't matter) and you happened to go over to their house and they had the "flaming love" poster hanging up and were completely serious about it (you must check out the link to track it down, you can't miss it since it's HOT) . It would probably be a dealbreaker of the same kind as if I were dating someone and he slipped in Tha Down Low for a little mood music.

I posed this question to a friend and they responded thusly:

Am I 18 or 30 when this occurs?

18-year-old Cliff, especially if intoxicated: "Oh, man...I might be gettin' some! Whoa...did I just think that or did I say it out loud?"

30-year-old Cliff: "Oh, man...that's hilarious! Where'd you find that? You bought it at Spencer's last week 'cause you thought it was way cool? Seriously? Ummm....shit...I think I'm out of windshield-wiper fluid. I'm just gonna run out and fill it up and..."

[screen door slams shut as tires screech in the background]

Got Nothing
I don't have too much to offer today, as I spent about 7.5 hours this past weekend watching two thirds of the first season of FX's "The Shield." I seriously sat down and watched four episodes straight each day--I'm so proud of myself. I've never watched the show before and it's not bad. "Homicide: Life on the Street" is still FAR better, and Detective Dutch in "The Shield" is like a poor man's, snaggle-toothed Tim Bayliss, but still not bad overall. The guy who plays the main guy, Vic, is pretty amazing, though. My dad (who sat along with me on my viewing yesterday) described him as having loads of charisma, which is about right.

In other news, my little brother has apparently bought a black light for his room, along with two posters whose attributes are only highlighted by the lovely lamp. One of them is this one of a "rasta" alien, with the phrase under it: "No Alien No Cry." I told Des and Bryan that I would be getting them the Fry Daddy Junior for their wedding, but it might get replaced by the blacklight/poster gift set. The other poster is only of a yin yang in a whirlpool, but the alien one of far better.

I think my little brother sits in his room with only the blacklight turned on. Awesome!

It's 70 degrees outside and sunny. I just spent three and a half hours inside a room on a teleconference. That was sweeeeet.

Go DC Schools!
Apparently some teacher in the District showed his or her sixth graders a pirated (?) copy of the Passion of the Christ.

T-shirt of the Moment
I don't know if you've been following Wonkette's tracking of the big to-do over the Urban Outfitters "ironic" shirts that say "Voting is for Old People." Wonkette recently pointed out some more appropriate t-shirts that seriously rock.

Police Blotter
There was high drama at our apartment building last night. I had gone out for my belated birthday dinner with my roommate, Matt (very belated, but I still owe him one and his birthday is in November) and when we pulled up to our apartment building around 9:30, it was surrounded by police cars. There were five of them there and one more was pulling up. Matt leaned out the window to ask one of the policemen standing around what was up, and apparently one of the apartments had been burgled. It was not ours, but our little building only has four apartments in it, so it still strikes close to home. Apparently, someone had broke and climbed through the kitchen window of one of the apartments on the first floor during the day at some point. The women who live there came home from work to discover glass on the floor, etc. The policeman who came up to talk to us alluded to the idea that since we have a bus stop in front of our apartment, the riffraff is particularly closeby. He told us to call them if anyone looks a "little whacky." We're also directly across the street from the metro, so the entire metropolitan area has access to our apartment. Anyway, I'm not sure how I feel about being all suspicious of people riding the bus. There is actually one dude who is always around the King street metro who freaks me out a little bit. He hangs around the entryways and pretends that he's about to go in, but then backs out and walks the circumference of the place before fake entering again. He carries a briefcase and stumbles around. I see him about once a week.

On another note, when Matt and I pulled into the parking lot of Shirlington to go to Carlyle Grand (I had the pork tenderloin and lobster bisque, which was nothing short of amazing), we pulled in next to this man and a woman who were standing by a car. It was clear that the woman was getting in and they were saying their goodnights. We couldn't help but hear her say to him something like: "...well, good luck with everything." and he was looking downright dejected. Matt pointed out afterward that we witnessed the guy getting blown off after a first date...which was brutal. I can watch humiliation on reality TV, but can't stand it in real life, because the people who are the reality shows kind of ask for it. Plus, this guy seemed to be kind of socially inept, which just depressed me all the more.

Use Protection
Thanks to Anne, who sent this link to this hi-larious ad. That kid cracks me up.

Birthday Follies
Now this guy knows how to throw down proper.

Louis Paul Kadlecek had never been in a plane before, but that didn't stop him. Reeling from four days of drinking to celebrate his 21st birthday, he broke into 16 hangars at the Brazoria County Airport, stole two planes and flew one into a power line, police said Tuesday.

Using pilot's manuals, the unemployed tree cutter managed to taxi two planes around the airport before flying off in one early Sunday, authorities said. He didn't get very far before wrecking the aircraft, cutting off electricity to much of Clute and Lake Jackson.

More about Fabio
From this article on the Fabio dealbreaker:

Mercer Island resident David Taylor, one of Fabio's closest friends, only heard about "Average Joe's" final act. But knowing about his best buddy, Taylor thinks Gil's abandonment had more to do with that second theory. "He sounds like kind of a weak squeeze," he said, adding he also knew Larissa. "She's better off without the guy."

That must be a relief for the numerous local ladies who count Fabio among lovers gone before. You see, Mr. Lanzoni acted out a few Harlequin romance passages when he lived in Seattle in the early '80s, having moved here directly from Milan. "I mean, we'd be walking down the street, and people would stop their cars ... and give him their phone numbers," Taylor recalled. "We had some great times together. He's a man's man and a great guy who likes women, and women like him."

The prolific playboy and former bodice-ripper cover model was in his Italian hometown working on his clothing line for Sam's Club and did not see the finale. However, his manager Eric Ashenberg relayed a statement.

"Fabio wishes Larissa nothing but the best," Ashenberg said. "Other than that, the only thing he has to say is if that guy is looking to date someone he (Fabio) hasn't, he should start dating men."

Kidz Bop 5
Apparently this CD is covers of kids singing top 40 songs by the likes of Beyonce, Outkast, and lots of other artists I don't recognize. You have to listen to the samples. Crazy in love? Crazy inappropriate!

Addendum: Here's the link to Kidz Bop 2.

Friends & Foes
Check out this exhibition of photographs--you are left to guess which are photos of friends and which are photos of enemies. How did they get people to volunteer for this?

Struck
Whenever I see photos of Guy Philippe, the guy who's leading the Haitian revolt, I'm struck by how handsome he is. Most photos show him beaming beatifically, arms slung over his comrades, reaching out to his soldiers, etc. You gotta wonder if dude would have so many people behind him if he was Quasimodo. Did you know that he is married to a woman from Wisconsin? Neither did I.

Dr. Phil and his wiley ways
This woman from Fredericksburg got duped by Dr. Phil, apparently. (via obscurestore)

Fabio likes the birds
Thanks to Steve who sent the link that includes this old wonderful image of a bloodied Fabio. You guys remember this? Good times.

Cheat Sheet
The Post has a great feature where you can compare the Dem candidates on issues. Too cool. (via tmn).

Super Tuesday
My brother, Robin, reminded me that he's off to Australia on Thursday for three weeks. Two weeks are for his bidness school program and one week of traveling. Over the duration of his time there, he's visiting four cities. You could cut through my envy with a knife. I don't begrudge him this trip, but I just want to go too. Why didn't he get me a ticket too, yo?

He called to check if I had watched the last "Average Joe," but if it can be believed, I hadn't. To give a little background, the hot woman had pared her choices down to two guys: a hot, blond contracter from Florida, and the "Average Joe" guy who was from Boston. Of course, the Joe was sooooo into her (I think that this woman was like third runner up for Ms. USA or something incredibly impressive like that.) and the blonde dude was kind of meh-ish. Last week promised HUGE secrets and tears, etc. I can't believe I forgot about the finale.

Anyway, Robin told me what happened and I wish that I had watched because it is soooo sweet. Of course, she ended up picking the hot, blond guy.

The secret? I thought it was going to be that she had a kid or something, but it's even more serious than that. She used to date Fabio.
And the blond guy decided to dump her because of it.
And he no longer wants to be a contractor, but wants to pursue acting.

AWESOME. I can't believe that I missed it. I love that having dating Fabio becomes a dealbreaker in a relationship (or at least the show purports it to be.)

Pen of Power
Check out Jonathan's letter to the editor in today's Washington Post!

Wedding Bells - The week of March 1, 2004
Dear Friends and Family,

As some of you may know, I'm getting married again.

Love,
Dictator Luna

Excess
Ahh, recovering from another weekend of excesses, and will be spending the week as a paragon of virtue. Don't everyone call me to hang out at once. So my little email group did a pool of Oscar picks. There were five or six of us competing, and I am proud to say that I ranked the absolute lowest in terms of picking correctly. Awesome! I should definitely become a professional gambler. I'm consoled by the intensely fabulous weather, though.

Have You Watched...
..."Capturing the Friedmans" yet? Netflix it immediately, if not. When I saw it, we got into a hot debate as to how to interpret what happened. What seemed to black and white to me, was apparently white and black to another person. At Jonathan and Clarence's suggestion, I recently watched the DVD of extra stuff from the movie, and it's FULL of interesting extra footage and information. Slate has an interesting article on the movie today.